My Year Seven child doesn't have a smartphone – and she's thriving

[.style-intro]The transition to secondary school is a huge deal for kids, and throwing smartphones into the mix has become the norm. But what happens when you choose to go against the grain? Priya, a mum in our West Midlands community, gave us the low down on how her brick phone experiment has so far been spectacularly uneventful. [.style-intro]

Why we said “no” to smartphones – for now

I’m that mum. The one whose child doesn’t have a smartphone – and not only have we survived the social apocalypse that was supposed to follow, but we’re all doing really kind of great. If you’re wondering when to give your child a phone, allow me to share our story.

Let’s get one thing clear: my daughter does have a phone. It’s just not the all-singing, all-dancing, TikTok-ing, infinite-scroll rectangle of doom that most Year 7s seem surgically attached to. She has a brick phone. Yes, those still exist. The kind with actual buttons. The kind that doesn’t track her screen time because it would be too embarrassed to admit how short it is.

Starting secondary school without a smartphone

I didn’t decide to withhold a smartphone from some lofty moral high ground. It started more as an experiment. I wanted to see what would happen if she started secondary school without a screen in her pocket – and what happened was, well, nothing. No social collapse. No playground exile. No heart-wrenching sobs about being left out of group chats. She just… got on with it.

She settled in beautifully at school. She made friends quickly – real ones, not just Instagram followers. They meet up after school, they call, they text (yes, on that brick). She’s perfectly social, maybe even more so than if she were glued to a screen 24/7.

Friends, texts, and the magic of the brick phone

There’s something lovely about hearing your child talk on the phone instead of watching them scroll silently like a caffeinated zombie. And while other parents are fretting over Snapchat streaks, dodgy YouTube rabbit holes, and the mysterious psychological grip of WhatsApp group dynamics, I’m sitting at work with one main worry: is she pinching the good biscuits again instead of doing her homework?

Staying safe, connected, and (mostly) offline

Now, before you imagine I’m raising a completely unplugged, technology-free forest sprite, let me reassure you – she still has access to screens. We have a family computer downstairs she uses for homework, video calls with her nan and her latest obsession: GarageBand. But she doesn’t have the whole online world in her pocket during the school day, or when she’s walking home.

Which brings me to one of the real perks of the humble brick phone: peace of mind. If she’s running late or needs to check in, she calls or sends a text. That’s it. No sneaky TikTok breaks at the bus stop. No being exposed to things she’s not ready for. I don’t have to worry that she’s seeing things she shouldn’t, or wasting hours watching strangers eat noodles.

When is the right time to give your child a phone?

I’ll admit, deciding when to give your child a phone is a hot topic among parents. And by ‘hot’, I mean right up there with whether you should allow sleepovers, let them walk to school alone, or permit ketchup on pasta. Everyone’s got an opinion. But what I’ve realised is this: there’s no universal ‘right time.’ There’s just your child, and your comfort level.

For us, the brick phone hits the sweet spot for year 7. It gave her independence, connection, and the ability to call me if the bus doesn’t show up. But it didn’t open the door to the endless social media vortex that often comes with smartphones.

She's not missing out

She’s not missing out on anything worth worrying about on WhatsApp. If anything, she’s more present with the friends she actually spends time with. And when she does want to join a group chat, we do it on the family tablet where I can still have some visibility. Not because I want to be Big Brother, but because navigating digital communication is a skill – one that needs teaching and support, just like crossing a busy road or learning to swim.

Proud to be different

What surprises me most is how unbothered she is by not having a smartphone. Occasionally, she’ll mention that someone at school has a new iPhone, but it’s never with envy – more like mild curiosity. And if I’m honest, I think she enjoys being the one who’s not following the crowd. It’s her thing now. “I don’t have WhatsApp,” she’ll say with a shrug. “Text me instead.” And they do.

A little independence goes a long way

So, if you’re on the fence about whether to give your child a smartphone, I say this: it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can give them a phone for safety without giving them access to the entire internet in their backpack. Start small. There’s no rule that says Year 7 = iPhone 15.

In the meantime, I’ll keep counting the biscuits, deciphering emoji texts from a ten-year-old Nokia, and enjoying the quiet confidence of knowing that my daughter is connected, safe, and blissfully free of screen addiction.

Honestly? She’s doing great. And it might just be one of the best decisions we ever made.