What if I've already got my child a smartphone, is it too late?

[.style-intro]Already handed over a smartphone? You’re not alone – and it’s not too late. At Smartphone Free Childhood, we’re here to support parents at every stage. Whether you’re setting boundaries, rethinking habits or even considering a full reset, small changes can make a big difference. Together, we can help children build a healthier relationship with their phones – no shame, no guilt, just support.[.style-intro]

It's not too late

We know many families feel like they’ve had no choice but to give their child a smartphone, because all their friends have them. If you’re one of the millions of parents in that boat, we’re with you. 

Smartphone Free Childhood is all about bringing people together to have constructive conversations about this complex issue, and supporting parents and families everywhere to take small steps to make things better, wherever they are on this journey.

And the good news is, if your child’s already got a smartphone, it’s not too late to reset habits, rethink boundaries and help your child build a more intentional, balanced relationship with their device.

You're in the majority

According to Ofcom, 89% of 12-year-olds in the UK now have one, so you're far from alone. Until recently, for many families it’s felt like the only option – because “everyone else has one” and that’s just what kids do now.

But that’s exactly what this movement is here to challenge.

Up until now, the pressure has been one-way: towards earlier and earlier smartphone use. But something’s shifting. Families are beginning to ask questions, push back, and realise that we do have a choice. It’s not about guilt or judgement – it’s about taking back some control.

And the good news? Even if you’ve already handed over a smartphone, there’s still a lot you can do to help your child develop a healthier, more intentional relationship with it.

Take an interest

One of the best ways to support your child is simply by being curious. Show genuine interest in what they’re doing on their phone – not to spy, but to stay connected. When they know you’re open, engaged and not judging, it becomes much easier to keep the conversation going.

• Ask questions. What do they enjoy online? Which apps do they use most? Who do they talk to? Let them teach you a thing or two – it builds trust.
  
• Set clear boundaries. Be upfront about which apps you’re comfortable with, and why. Boundaries are easier to stick to when kids understand the reasoning.
  
• Use parental controls. They’re not perfect, but they can help you manage access and set limits that support healthier habits.

Letting your child know that you’re interested in their digital world – and that you’re in it together – lays the groundwork for more open, honest conversations.

Have open conversations

Young people are often well aware of the issues. Many are aware they’re spending too long on their smartphones – and don’t feel great about it. So start with questions, not lectures:

• How do you feel after being on your phone for a long time?
• Do you ever wish you had more time for other things?
• What do you think the apps you use want from you?

These kinds of conversations help build awareness, trust, and reflection – without judgement.

Talk about the business model

It can be powerful to explain how social media works – especially for older kids.

• These platforms are free because they make money from our time and attention.
• The more we scroll, the more money they make.
• Their goal is to keep us hooked – even if it harms our wellbeing.

When kids understand this, they’re more likely to push back. Nobody likes feeling manipulated. Check out our article on communicating with older kids about this issue for more on this.

Set clear, simple boundaries

It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Even basic limits can go a long way:

• No phones overnight (keep them downstairs to protect them and their sleep)
• Screen-free meals (for all the family)
• App time limits (especially if they’re on social media)

Explain the reasoning – that it’s not about punishment, it’s about protecting their time, attention and mental health.

Help them fill the gap

Rather than just limiting smartphone use, help your child fill that time with something better:

• Encourage face-to-face meetups with friends rather than endless texting or scrolling.
• Plan screen-free family time – board games, walks, or just hanging out.
• Suggest hobbies, sports, or simple creative activities. 

Lead by example

You don’t have to be perfect – but showing your own willingness to set limits helps a lot:

• Keep your phone away at dinner.
• Try not to scroll during conversations.
• Set your own screen limits.

When they see you making changes too, it doesn’t feel like a double standard.‍

You can take the smartphone away

This sounds radical to some, and won’t work for everyone, but plenty of families have done it. Kids adapt; often faster than you think.

If your child is struggling, if the phone has become a source of constant conflict, or if you’re worried about the effect it's having on their psyche – it’s okay to change your mind. You’re allowed to say: “This isn’t working.”

The key is to stay calm, confident and clear. Offer an alternative (like a basic phone), talk openly about the reasons, and hold your ground with love.

If you’re considering this, you might be interested in this story from our community - about what happened when one family changed their mind and took their daughters smartphone away,

We’re in it together

There’s no perfect path through this. But change is possible – and you’re not alone. Whether you’re limiting smartphone time, having difficult conversations, or trying to undo what’s already in place, you’re part of a growing community of people working to reclaim childhood from the grip of Big Tech. And we’re here for you, every step of the way.

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